Guardian nearly balanced on Brexit but still phallogocentric on women's genitals

I've been waiting for the Graun feature on How Brexit has Affected My Life but it has all gone horribly quiet. They must be saving themselves for a special anti-triumphalist piece on Jan 31?  There are currently signs of a far more considered approach:

Food security plan after Brexit: biggest shake-up to farming in 40 years. 

Provisions include 

a stronger emphasis on the soil, at risk from overuse, erosion and nutrient loss; farmers are to receive help maintaining healthy soils, as well as with improvements to the tracing of livestock movements between farms. There will be powers to regulate fertiliser use and organic farming after Brexit.

 At the heart of the bill is a shift away from the EU system, where farmers receive subsidies based on the amount of land they farm, to a process whereby farmers are paid for the public goods provided, including clean water, clean air, healthy soils and habitats for wildlife.

For the duration of the current parliament, subsidies at the same rate as the EU – about £3bn a year – will be paid to farmers from taxpayer funds, but some of the richest farmers who benefit most from the system can expect to lose out when the new contracts are phased in.

new provisions in the bill to improve oversight of the supply chain....[mean]... all sellers of agricultural produce will qualify for protection from abuse by business purchasers, which...would help drive out unfair practices and protect farmers and could also aid reduction of food waste.

Sounds pretty good so far then, not at all like the dreadful predictions of a return to factory farming, serfdom, widespread starvation and the Black Death. The Graun almost has to search for problems:

potential disruptions post-Brexit, as more than a quarter of Britain’s food comes from the EU and nearly a fifth from other countries....[no]...binding [NB] commitment to prevent trade deals allowing the import of food produced to lower standards than those to which British farmers must adhere [American chickens?]....It is disappointing that the bill still does not commit to support farmers to adopt nature friendly agro-ecological farming, like organic, or environmental action across the whole farm, rather than in small areas... more detail would be needed on how to implement measures to protect soil health, said Matthew Orman, director of the Sustainable Soils Alliance. 

Maybe these reservations are enough to justify the rather grudging subheading:

Bill requires regular monitoring of supplies and shift from CAP-style subsidies but no gate on lower quality imports

Elsewhere, the Graun has found a celeb to express their dismay:

[Sir Patrick] Stewart told PA Media [in the course of publishing his new film]  “I think what is happening with the European Union is actually the saddest, grimmest thing that has happened to me since I have been involved in politics.”

M Kettle has found a future crisis to rub his hands at:

[his own] reminder of one of the Brexit election’s most important and umbilically linked consequences...The possible breakup of the country

Those canny ScotNats did well in the Election, and

No one who followed the campaign in Scotland can seriously dispute that the SNP’s tremendous success on 12 December, when it took 48 of the 59 seats in Scotland, owed at least as much to its opposition to Brexit as to the issue of independence.. 

Now that battle is lost at the national level, indyref2 is back on the cards (N Sturgeon requested one, B Johnson refused), and there might be another glorious chance to express moral superiority and do some social distancing while bagpipes play in the lonely distance

English politicians who can all too easily find themselves feeding nationalist grievances by making ignorant and condescending remarks...Uncompromising, London-centric unionism [but not Remainerism] is an arrogant and stupid look.

Much better to celebrate Scots moderation [although to be fair, Kettle doesn't] :

the Scottish finance secretary, Derek Mackay, described UK ministers as Scotland’s “imperial masters” this week 

Kettle knows it is only a symbolic issue, a matter of virtue-signalling:

Many on all sides admit that this is a bit of a phoney war....Brexit will change the terms on which any independence referendum would be fought. Britain, including Scotland, will be out. If Scotland tried to rejoin after independence, issues such as the currency, borders and the UK single market would rise quickly up the agenda.

And there are more opportunities to display cultural capital here (the words in the link are a delight), by A Chiles,allegedly K Vine's (Editor of the Graun) new squeeze, says the Eye:

Croatia has enchanting words for genitalia. Why doesn't the UK?

I am friends with a Croatian couple who translate erotic fiction. 

Actual examples are a bit lame, in my view, and his favourite is

related to the boys’ pipek:  [meaning 'willy' he tells us earlier] “pipica” (pronounced pip-i-tsa). Trust me, it’s an enchanting, affectionate diminutive.

Same old phallogocentrism where women are seen as just derivative of men, as enchanting and affectionate castrated men, a binary opposite 'not-men' as Irigaray put it, and where the Freudian legacy misunderstands female genitalia, and female sexuality therefore, as a 'lack', a matter of diminutive willies! Sad day for the Graiubn!