Welcome back, you ticking clocks

The Graun has finally managed to cover some other news -- the Brexit talks are back on. Normally, we would have had pages of coverage, complete with irate and scaremongering commentary from the Europeanate. Now, wallow in nostalgia with me as you read:

During the video call, Frost told Barnier the UK did not intend to seek an extension to the 11-month transition period, which ends on 31 December 2020...Yet EU diplomats are increasingly convinced that London will ask for an extension, as the fallout from coronavirus hammers the global economy and consumes political energy across Europe.

And above all:

As the clock ticks down [I really miss that clock!], EU diplomats are dismayed the UK has failed to produce a draft legal text on fisheries, despite a goal to agree on fishing rights covering 100 shared species by 1 July.

There may be some sinister perfidious Albion stuff, but if so, it is too Byzantine for me, and R Behr or J Freedland are evidently unavailable to explain it :

The British have irritated EU diplomats by denying Barnier permission to share these [new] texts [on other matters] with national capitals. That means the 27 EU member states, who will make the ultimate decision on the terms of the future relationship, are relying on analysis and summaries from Barnier and his negotiating team, rather than the original documents.

Thank God the Grun keeps its eye on the balls in play in cosmoland:

Self-love in isolation: 'I hope people are using this time to explore their sexuality'

Sex toy sales have spiked during the Covid-19 lockdown. For those curious about buying into the trend, experts advise how to get yourself started

The Services knew how to deal with this consequence of boredom -- lengthy and time-consuming cleaning routines, involving, if necessary, ironing shoelaces, boxing blankets and whitewashing coal.