What -- no guns?

Survivalism might have taken root in a delightfully tame and amateur (and unarmed) British way as 300 Guardian readers have let the newspaper know of their plans to stockpile, ready for a 'messy' Brexit:

My first purchase was an additional shelving rack for the garage and several plastic storage crates...my one “luxury” touch is three-packs of Boost chocolate bars at £1 each and with long dates....[Echoing the Gruan's own story a while back]... do I trust the government to take care of my family in the event of a crisis, or do we need to take responsibility ourselves?...I’ve got cartons of passata, tinned tuna, carrots, potatoes, onions, pulses, water chestnuts, plum tomatoes, curry paste jars, coconut milk, tomato puree, rice, pasta, water, orange juice, squash, spaghetti hoops, soups, stews, tinned fruit, herbs and spices. I’ve also got a good amount of DIY tools, buckets, lightbulbs, matches, candles, firewood, bleach, Dettol, first-aid items and common medicines....If I have to, I’ll dig up my garden and grow my own fresh veg...I have a young son to support and can’t afford to be caught up in the panic buying that will undoubtedly occur when a no-deal is near...

There is also an opportunity to bang on and on, of course:

We also seem to have enough idiots at the helm who are quite willing to drive this country off an economic cliff-edge, knowing that they personally have good financial cushions to land on and who really aren’t bothered about the “collateral damage” they’ll inflict on others....So far Brexit proceedings have been disastrous, in my opinion, and I fear we have not yet seen the worst of it. Food shortages will only be one of many trials ahead of us... Although I of course hope the nonsense in parliament will resolve itself, and better yet Brexit will be stopped altogether...I also worry about the effect Brexit is having on our culture – it feels as though the toxicity it has unleashed and the resurgence of the far right is far from played out.

The Gudrian has done some other people a service by including names and basic locations for the hoarders, and we must be grateful for the tips about looking for shopping market trolleys loaded high with tinned spaghetti hoops or lightbulbs. Locate your local Guardian readers NOW!  Identify or follow these people home and your Brexit survival plan is complete -- come the crisis, knock at their doors and ask them to share!