Agony Aunt for Remain

M Frostrup in the Observer hears from a family split by Brexit:

My husband and I are moderate in our political views and both voted to remain in the EU. My parents and mother-in-law voted to leave. I look at my daughter and feel devastated that her world is potentially going to be smaller than mine, with fewer opportunities to live, love and work as she pleases [she couldn't be arsed to get visas or residency permits? It's only the EU she wants to live, love and work in?] ....We’ve talked about leaving the UK for a more open and inclusive society, [where did they have in mind?] but don’t want to leave our parents dependent on paid-for care [ah] . Whichever option we explore, we’re increasingly resentful [yes -- but shouldn't that have been 'vulnerable'?] our parents voted for us to be in this position (based on various arguments, some with racist undertones),[they were alone in voting to Leave?]  and that they don’t even recognise the situation

Frostrup replies:

It was only a matter of time before this toxic political fracas, currently dividing us like the most bitter of divorces, came to haunt lifestyle pages as well as the headlines. So many families and friendships have been torn asunder by the passion disgorged on both sides, with the only comfort being that it’s a long while since people engaged with politics with such ferocity.[!]

 What chance do you think you have of changing your parents’ minds? That seems to me to be the crux of this impasse. Those of us holding out for a second referendum do so with scant belief that the voting percentages would change dramatically. What seems to have occurred since that fateful June morning, when our children lost their right to roam among their closest neighbours [!], is greater entrenchment and growing resentment on both sides.

I’m the first to admit that remain’s argument was lacklustre, out-of-touch and ultimately patronising....On the opposite side are those who were sold the Brexit dream by a bunch of desperados who make secondhand car salesmen look like paragons of truth and virtue. Those torch bearers are like the serial adulterer – no matter how many times they are exposed as having deceived us, they plead their commitment and promise tomorrow will be different.

But:

No matter what happens we are all, Remainers and Brexiters, going to have to learn to harmoniously co-habit on our small island with understanding, patience, empathy and reduced hyperbole [after one more demonstration of it]

The answer is jolly old bourgeois commonsense.Not at all patronising:

I wouldn’t try to change their minds or convince them they’ve got it wrong. Instead, illustrate to them that many of their fears – whether of marauding migrants or lack of self-determination – are unjustified. Be honest, but without acrimony when you explain the decisions you’ve made, bearing in mind their wellbeing and with your child’s future at the forefront of your mind.